The Second Contestant Interview!

gp: January 23, 2010

We have the skinny on the second contestant in the Great Gnome-out here for you today!

Grummmpy Chato is his name, and he has apparently traveled here all the way from Norman, Oklahoma. "There I was... cheering on my Sooners when this big ole funnel cloud sucked me up.... well gosh darn it, if it didn't blow me all the way to this frozen hell hole. Now its been rumored if I win this gosh darn contest the Travel---y Gnome is gonna fly me back to the big plains. I mean gosh darn it, I cant miss a season from my team! "


As you can tell, unlike our first entrant, Grummmpy has a strong command of the English language, though both his wording and accent are questionable.

"Its really gosh darn cold out here... and whats with all this gosh darn snow? I walk around and I can't see a gosh darn thing other than white!" At slightly under a foot high, and given the local snow cover, Grummmpy is mostly identifable by the peak of his hat sticking up out of the snow. If it gets any deeper, we might lose him until the thaw starts.


Apparently the contest organizers haven't told Grummmpy that the Great Gnome-out is not affiliated with Travel---y in any fashion, so he is unlikely to get his wish. Rumors out of the Gnomish world have that the Gnome working at Travel---y is a Gnomish outcast having sold out for fame on the Internet.

Indeed, if Grummmpy doesn't win (or possibly even if he does) and he can't swim (not a noted ability in garden Gnomes) he'll be watching the sky from some distance under water rather than from the "big plains".

When asked about the strange device upon his hat, Grummmpy looked at the questioner oddly and stalked off calling: "Sooooners! Sooooners!" Our Gnomish language experts have not been able to recognize the meaning of this call, and its obviously not part of the English language.



Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International