Beneath the ice: tension at the Gnome-out

By Victoria Dickenson - Gnational Enquire Investigative reporter

As the excitement builds at the event known as the Great Gnome-out, Gnational Enquirer has come on the scene to find that there are darker currents beneath the smooth ice.

Homeowner Bob Grizwald and his wife are the hosts for this year's event as everyone knows. But what isn't well known, and certainly isn't publicized by that insipid rag that sucks up to the Gnomish world, the Gnome Press International, is that Mr. Grizwald appears to be slightly deranged and is possibly intending harm to one of the contestants.

"I'm looking at that .. that 'Pissbucket' or whatever they think his name is. He looks a lot like the gnome that was living in my garage for for the past year, terrorizing my family. If I figure out that they're the really the same gnome, he'll be seeing the bottom of the pond sooner than spring" said Bob Grizwald.

Mr. Grizwald contends, and Mrs. Grizwald confirms to a lesser degree, that a wild gnome moved into their garage workshop at the beginning of last year. The gnome committed multiple acts of vandalism and Mr. Grizwald contends that it attempted violence on Grizwald when he tried to chase it away.

"The thing had made a nest out of a pile wood scraps, even using my power tools to finish it. When I went to root it out, it came after me with my chainsaw! We've only been able to use the garage by ducking in and grabbing what we need when it was asleep. Haven't been able to park the car in there. Don't know what he'd do with that."

Grizwald pointed to a pile of wood scraps and multiple discarded large cans. "He drank all my paint thinner and turpentine too"

This this kind of raw emotion, it is apparent to this trained reporter's eye that there is a strong possibility of violence here.

"Fancy new clothes or not, these two look too similar, and the fact that he was the first to arrive makes me highly suspicious. I'll take him out if it's really him. I've got a picture of him I got a one point early on. Even then he gave me the finger."

We've included pictures of the two gnomes. You make the judgement - Truth, psychotic raving of a man pushed too far by a gnome, so simply another fame seeker looking for the limelight at the expense of an innocent gnome?