The Great Gnome-out, like many other public events controlled by an inbred committee, often does not allow the real truth out about the real events going on behind the events that they want the public to be brainwashed into thinking are the whole wholesome story.
The insipid used dishrag called the Gnome Press Internal reported earlier today that the crowd noticed that there was a new contestant this morning. Truth is that the contest has been there for days, and the "committee" just woke up enough to realize it. This reporter met and talked with Zwiebell (which means "onion" in German) earlier this week (as you can see in this fine picture of Zweibell and I), well before the committee decided to balk at the German Gnome's entry with his snowman.
What was also not told was the tragic story of Zweibell's arrival in the United States.
Mistaken as yet another pawn shop curio while they were touring London, England on holiday, Zweibell and his snowman were "bought" and pocketed by an ignorant tourist as a souvenir and immediately taken aboard an international flight to Boston, Massachusetts.
Upon reaching Logan Airport, Zwiebell's snowman secured their release by expeditiously chewing his way out of the pocket and taking Zweibell with him. Working their way through the feet forest of the custom's line, Zweibell and snowman found themselves in the main concourse of Logan: friendless and only speaking German.
Fortunately, our heroes are both resourceful and at that time not without resources. Waving a sheaf of 100 Euro bills, they attracted the attention of members of the Toumpas family who happened to be passing by on their way back from a spa vacation in the Swiss Alps. Multi-lingual and world savvy, the Toumpas's took the wayward Gnome and his trusty friend under their wings (so to speak).
Safely at the Toumpas household in New Hapshire, and while pursuing Internet searches in German, Zweilbell came upon the mention of the Great Gnome-out happening just a town over from the Toumpas's. This sparked Zweibell's interest and hopes of winning the contest. Although the grand prize has not been announced, Zweibell hopes for enough cash in winnings to pay for tickets back to his beloved Germany, as apparently he and snowman no longer have enough cash to pay for their tickets back. (Interestingly, this shortage of cash appears to have started at Logan airport.)
The second half of this story centers around the lack of security Zweibell and the Toumpas family found at the Great Gnome-out event location at the Grizwald residence.
Being Gnomish. Zweibell certainly had the means to sneak out onto the ice without any of the human guards or the trained attack dogs being aware. What happened instead was that the entire Toumpas family along with Zweibell and snowman literally waltzed pass the guards and wandered out onto the ice unchallenged. Indeed, the event committee, judges, homeowners and any other human in a position of responsibility were absent. It is questionable whether the guards were even present.
The only opposition to free reign of the property came from the attack dog, such as it was and once he was woken up. It does need to be pointed out that intense licking and tailwagging are not often taken as threatening gestures.
Without a doubt, we are sure that our readership is as shocked as we were to find the lack of apparent care for the safety of the Gnomes out on the ice and the sucess of an event that could easily be tampered with.Aside from the excuses of the event committee; "The event doesn't start for several days", and the comments of Bob Grizwald the homeowner; "You go try and move one of those Gnomes that don't want to be moved. You'll pull back a bloody stump where your hand was", this event is at risk.
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