The Great Gnome-out has it's first interview of a likely contestant.
After a spirited pursuit over some distance through the wooded area adjacent to the gaming area, the contestant was eventually corner (treed) for this interview. After understanding that there were more of us than him - we managed to convey that we only wanted to talk. Our friendliness was more firmly established with a pint of Jack Daniels, after which he came with us amiably so we were able to obtain the pictures to go with this article and conduct the interview.
This particular Gnome is rather large as the species goes - he looks to be over 18" high in his colorful peaked hat. We were unable to obtain his (her?) real name -- apparently this gnome has not learned to speak a human language, and what came out, possible because of the quart of Jack Daniels, wasn't recognizably a dialect of Gnomish either.
Interviewer: "Hello little fellow. What's your name?"
Gnome: "Ptthbshurtmmmm"
Interviewer: "Ptthsbshurtmmmm? That's your name?"
Gnome: "Snarffle"
Interviewer (to Gnomish expert from the Games committee): "Did you understand that? What did he say?"
Gnomish expert: "Not sure. Either this is a new dialect, or he has gas."
It is true that many Gnomes don't speak human languages. Indeed, it is not uncommon to find Gnomes in garden settings that are so silent that it could be questionable that they are actually alive.
"You have to be careful of the quiet ones" said Mrs. Grizwald, the local homeowner after the interview. "The quiet ones can be deadly good at sneaking up on ya if your not watching out".
"They might not make a sound, but they understand weedwacker real well though..." said Mr. Grizwald with a leer. This is one of the first comments we've been able to get from Mr. Grizwald. He has apparently been spending an inordinate amount of time watching this particular Gnome.
After the interchange with our Gnome and a quickly snapped set of pictures, our contestant vaulted off the judging platform and made a quick escape into the woods. Apparently this was not the last sighting of the Gnome (now known as "Ptthbbb" for lack of anything better to call him) for the day. Two young boys from the local neighborhood came to this reporter to say that Ptthbb apparently caught and devoured a crow on the side of the road.
More interviews of contestants will be forthcoming as the field (or pond) fills out.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
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