(gp: January 31, 2010)
It's the evening before the start of the Great Gnome-out, and things are literally "a buzz" here on the ice. Gnome watchers, contestants and judges alike were startled this evening when with a sound like de-accelerating jet engines, a new gnome swooped in for a landing leaving a trail of melted ice behind him.
Concerned watchers rushed the ice in the confusion of this new high-speed arrival wanting to know if everything was all right and who this rather daring gnome might be. After event officials cleared the ice, it was clear that more than just one arrival had occurred in the confusion when the head count tallied nine heads! (or hats, or sort of heads...)
Now in the dark, confused officials are scrambling to set up lights, identify the newcomers and get them officially entered in the contest.
Continue to follow this column the next couple of days folks: we've got a lot of gnomes to meet!
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
A few things you didn't hear about
By Victoria Dickenson - Gnational Enquire Investigative reporter
Aside from the excuses of the event committee; "The event doesn't start for several days", and the comments of Bob Grizwald the homeowner; "You go try and move one of those Gnomes that don't want to be moved. You'll pull back a bloody stump where your hand was", this event is at risk.
The Great Gnome-out, like many other public events controlled by an inbred committee, often does not allow the real truth out about the real events going on behind the events that they want the public to be brainwashed into thinking are the whole wholesome story.
The insipid used dishrag called the Gnome Press Internal reported earlier today that the crowd noticed that there was a new contestant this morning. Truth is that the contest has been there for days, and the "committee" just woke up enough to realize it. This reporter met and talked with Zwiebell (which means "onion" in German) earlier this week (as you can see in this fine picture of Zweibell and I), well before the committee decided to balk at the German Gnome's entry with his snowman.
What was also not told was the tragic story of Zweibell's arrival in the United States.
Mistaken as yet another pawn shop curio while they were touring London, England on holiday, Zweibell and his snowman were "bought" and pocketed by an ignorant tourist as a souvenir and immediately taken aboard an international flight to Boston, Massachusetts.
Upon reaching Logan Airport, Zwiebell's snowman secured their release by expeditiously chewing his way out of the pocket and taking Zweibell with him. Working their way through the feet forest of the custom's line, Zweibell and snowman found themselves in the main concourse of Logan: friendless and only speaking German.
Fortunately, our heroes are both resourceful and at that time not without resources. Waving a sheaf of 100 Euro bills, they attracted the attention of members of the Toumpas family who happened to be passing by on their way back from a spa vacation in the Swiss Alps. Multi-lingual and world savvy, the Toumpas's took the wayward Gnome and his trusty friend under their wings (so to speak).
Safely at the Toumpas household in New Hapshire, and while pursuing Internet searches in German, Zweilbell came upon the mention of the Great Gnome-out happening just a town over from the Toumpas's. This sparked Zweibell's interest and hopes of winning the contest. Although the grand prize has not been announced, Zweibell hopes for enough cash in winnings to pay for tickets back to his beloved Germany, as apparently he and snowman no longer have enough cash to pay for their tickets back. (Interestingly, this shortage of cash appears to have started at Logan airport.)
The second half of this story centers around the lack of security Zweibell and the Toumpas family found at the Great Gnome-out event location at the Grizwald residence.
Being Gnomish. Zweibell certainly had the means to sneak out onto the ice without any of the human guards or the trained attack dogs being aware. What happened instead was that the entire Toumpas family along with Zweibell and snowman literally waltzed pass the guards and wandered out onto the ice unchallenged. Indeed, the event committee, judges, homeowners and any other human in a position of responsibility were absent. It is questionable whether the guards were even present.
The only opposition to free reign of the property came from the attack dog, such as it was and once he was woken up. It does need to be pointed out that intense licking and tailwagging are not often taken as threatening gestures.
Without a doubt, we are sure that our readership is as shocked as we were to find the lack of apparent care for the safety of the Gnomes out on the ice and the sucess of an event that could easily be tampered with.Aside from the excuses of the event committee; "The event doesn't start for several days", and the comments of Bob Grizwald the homeowner; "You go try and move one of those Gnomes that don't want to be moved. You'll pull back a bloody stump where your hand was", this event is at risk.
More Contestant Controversy!
(gp: January 29, 2010)
Yet more controversy out on the pond of the Great Gnome-out!
This morning the crowds all identified that we had a potential 5th contestant out on the ice. As this reporter and the Great Gnome-out event officials approached, we realized that there was something amiss with this very, very small entrant.
Apparently the somewhat Santa-looking gnome, who has identified himself as Zwielbell is astride a rather duck looking entity who Zwielbell identifies as his "snowman".
The event Judges became considerably concerned with this pair. Per the Great Gnome-out rules, Zwielbell cannot be mounted on his snowman / duck and be a legal contestant. The two were encouraged to come inside for discussions of legalities. Our photographer was able to get a shot of the pair up close during this time.
The Great Gnome-out Rules state: "Spacing between participants must be maintained as a minimum of 24”, and must be directly on the ice. Intermediate objects (ex: snow piles, boards, sleds, pontoon boats, etc.) cannot be used. " In this case the snowman / duck could be considered and intermediate object.
In addition the rules state: "Participants are encouraged to be 6” in height or length as a minimum, and cannot be naturally floating (ex: inflatable, made of Styrofoam, wood, or wearing water wings). " Duckysnowman "(as he is now dubbed) could potentially be a floatation device.
This last point is not firm in this case. Duckysnowman proved that he was neither wood or Styrofoam after he bit a judge that was prodding him to check what he was made off.
After a protracted discussion, the judges rulled that Zwielbell could NOT participate per the rules. As the crowd reacted volubly to this announcement, the Judges went on to say that Duckysnowman, however, could participate as there is nothing against carrying things on your back.
In this photo, Victoria Dickenson (also famously known as Vickie Dickie of the tabloid Gnational Enquire) is seen congratulating the pair on their entrance to the event.
In other news, several of the media helicopters covering the event have reported being harassed in the air by an unidentified object, some to the point of needing to land due to turbulence.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International.
Yet more controversy out on the pond of the Great Gnome-out!
This morning the crowds all identified that we had a potential 5th contestant out on the ice. As this reporter and the Great Gnome-out event officials approached, we realized that there was something amiss with this very, very small entrant.
Apparently the somewhat Santa-looking gnome, who has identified himself as Zwielbell is astride a rather duck looking entity who Zwielbell identifies as his "snowman".
The event Judges became considerably concerned with this pair. Per the Great Gnome-out rules, Zwielbell cannot be mounted on his snowman / duck and be a legal contestant. The two were encouraged to come inside for discussions of legalities. Our photographer was able to get a shot of the pair up close during this time.The Great Gnome-out Rules state: "Spacing between participants must be maintained as a minimum of 24”, and must be directly on the ice. Intermediate objects (ex: snow piles, boards, sleds, pontoon boats, etc.) cannot be used. " In this case the snowman / duck could be considered and intermediate object.
In addition the rules state: "Participants are encouraged to be 6” in height or length as a minimum, and cannot be naturally floating (ex: inflatable, made of Styrofoam, wood, or wearing water wings). " Duckysnowman "(as he is now dubbed) could potentially be a floatation device.
This last point is not firm in this case. Duckysnowman proved that he was neither wood or Styrofoam after he bit a judge that was prodding him to check what he was made off.
After a protracted discussion, the judges rulled that Zwielbell could NOT participate per the rules. As the crowd reacted volubly to this announcement, the Judges went on to say that Duckysnowman, however, could participate as there is nothing against carrying things on your back.
In this photo, Victoria Dickenson (also famously known as Vickie Dickie of the tabloid Gnational Enquire) is seen congratulating the pair on their entrance to the event.
In other news, several of the media helicopters covering the event have reported being harassed in the air by an unidentified object, some to the point of needing to land due to turbulence.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International.
Re- Freeze and another contestant?
(gp: January 29, 2010)
A quick update from the Great Gnome-out to settle all your nerves. Fortunately, all our contestants have survived the torential downpours and unseasonably warm weather earlier in the week, and thanks to the single digit weather, are again confortably (?) back on solid ice.
Much to everyone's suprise, we appear to have another contestant on the ice. More on this as we get a chance to interview this new entitity.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International.
A quick update from the Great Gnome-out to settle all your nerves. Fortunately, all our contestants have survived the torential downpours and unseasonably warm weather earlier in the week, and thanks to the single digit weather, are again confortably (?) back on solid ice.
Much to everyone's suprise, we appear to have another contestant on the ice. More on this as we get a chance to interview this new entitity.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rain!
(gp: January 25, 2010)
After much rain and very unseasonably warm weather (52 Fahrenheit!) there is a lot of water moving through the Great Gnome-out's playing field (pond). An early headcount (6:00 pm) showed all the contestants present and accounted for, but concerns are high about the overnight as the temperature is supposed to stay above freezing and the rain to continue.
The rules committee has confirmed that as the official start is still 5 days away, that the contestants can save themselves and re-position before or after the re-freeze due with the single digit temperatures returning later in the week.
Stand by for further news tomorrow in the light of the day...
Gerald Putzney - Gnome Press International.
After much rain and very unseasonably warm weather (52 Fahrenheit!) there is a lot of water moving through the Great Gnome-out's playing field (pond). An early headcount (6:00 pm) showed all the contestants present and accounted for, but concerns are high about the overnight as the temperature is supposed to stay above freezing and the rain to continue.
The rules committee has confirmed that as the official start is still 5 days away, that the contestants can save themselves and re-position before or after the re-freeze due with the single digit temperatures returning later in the week.
Stand by for further news tomorrow in the light of the day...
Gerald Putzney - Gnome Press International.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Four up!
(gp: January 24, 2010)
It's been a busy day on the ice!
Our 4th contestant has shown up, and apparently from a long way.
Creating a bit of a challenge, Ganeppy the Gnome arrived speaking Spanish to our Gnomish Translators, causing a bit of a scramble to find a local translator. Ganeppy hails from our first off-continent site of Guaynabo, Puerto Rico.
In unprecedented mixed decision, the matter went to vote, and resulted in a tie:
Our 4th contestant has shown up, and apparently from a long way.
Creating a bit of a challenge, Ganeppy the Gnome arrived speaking Spanish to our Gnomish Translators, causing a bit of a scramble to find a local translator. Ganeppy hails from our first off-continent site of Guaynabo, Puerto Rico.
Ganeppy, pictured here with his lucky mushroom and a bag of mangoes, has a rather wistful, possibly forlorn expression most of the time. Perhaps this is due to the first time he's ever seen snow, much less endured temperatures reaching single digits while standing on ice.
Our newest contestant has even more challenges ahead. At only around 7 inches tall, or smallest contestant so far, Ganeppy has the real possibility of being lost in the first snow storm until spring thaw.
Ganeppy also caused an additional stir, arriving with his pet ducky. Apparently named "Mi Perro", the Great Gnome out officials were sent scrambling to try figure out whether the (apparently somewhat rubber) ducky could be allowed to stay with Ganeppy.
In unprecedented mixed decision, the matter went to vote, and resulted in a tie: 3 for the fact that the ducky was a flotation device, therefore not allowed
3 for the fact that the ducky was plainly food, and thusly allowed.
For the moment the ducky remains with his Gnome, pending further investigation and due to the fact the Spanish translator got bored and left during the voting and nobody could explain what was going on to the bewildered Gnome.
Ganeppy is out on the ice this afternoon as daylight wains.
Gerald Putzny - Gnome Press International
Beneath the ice: tension at the Gnome-out
By Victoria Dickenson - Gnational Enquire Investigative reporter
As the excitement builds at the event known as the Great Gnome-out, Gnational Enquirer has come on the scene to find that there are darker currents beneath the smooth ice.
Homeowner Bob Grizwald and his wife are the hosts for this year's event as everyone knows. But what isn't well known, and certainly isn't publicized by that insipid rag that sucks up to the Gnomish world, the Gnome Press International, is that Mr. Grizwald appears to be slightly deranged and is possibly intending harm to one of the contestants.
"I'm looking at that .. that 'Pissbucket' or whatever they think his name is. He looks a lot like the gnome that was living in my garage for for the past year, terrorizing my family. If I figure out that they're the really the same gnome, he'll be seeing the bottom of the pond sooner than spring" said Bob Grizwald.
Mr. Grizwald contends, and Mrs. Grizwald confirms to a lesser degree, that a wild gnome moved into their garage workshop at the beginning of last year. The gnome committed multiple acts of vandalism and Mr. Grizwald contends that it attempted violence on Grizwald when he tried to chase it away.
"The thing had made a nest out of a pile wood scraps, even using my power tools to finish it. When I went to root it out, it came after me with my chainsaw! We've only been able to use the garage by ducking in and grabbing what we need when it was asleep. Haven't been able to park the car in there. Don't know what he'd do with that."
Grizwald pointed to a pile of wood scraps and multiple discarded large cans. "He drank all my paint thinner and turpentine too"
This this kind of raw emotion, it is apparent to this trained reporter's eye that there is a strong possibility of violence here.
"Fancy new clothes or not, these two look too similar, and the fact that he was the first to arrive makes me highly suspicious. I'll take him out if it's really him. I've got a picture of him I got a one point early on. Even then he gave me the finger."
We've included pictures of the two gnomes. You make the judgement - Truth, psychotic raving of a man pushed too far by a gnome, so simply another fame seeker looking for the limelight at the expense of an innocent gnome?
... And then there were 3!
(gp: January 24, 2010)
The early morning light of day 7 before the start of the Great Gnome-out, the sponsors and committee were startled to see that we now have 3 contestants out on the ice.
The newest contestant appears to be legally on bare ice, as does both of our starters, but is definitely NOT of Gnomish descent. There were some murmurs in the gathering morning crowd of spectators over this, but a review of the Event Rules show that the new contestant is acceptable: "Any Gnome, Garden Animal, or similar entity may participate."
Our newest contestant is being officially classified as a "Garden Animal", and proves that they can come in all sizes, colors and varieties.
The 3rd contestant interview!
The Gnome-out's third contestant appears to be froggish in background. This reporter took immediate initiative to interview the newest contestant for our readership.
Reporter: "Good morning! We're surprised but happy to see you here today. Can you tell us your name?"
Contestant: "Ribbit"
Reporter: "Ahh... Ribbit! That's your name?"
Ribbit: "Ribbit"
Reporter: "...O.K.! Its Ribbit. What time did you arrive this morning? We were surprised to see you cleared your own spot on the ice"
Ribbit: "Ribbit"
Reporter: "Obviously a Ribbit of few words. Our readership would be interested to know some of your background - maybe where your home pond or lake is, how long it took you to get here, and so on."Ribbit: "Ribbit"
Reporter: "Somehow I expected that answer. If you don't mind me asking, what is that thing you're carrying? It looks like some sort of metal flower. "
Ribbit: "Ribbit"
Reporter: "You don't say. Last question. If you lose this contest, what will you do next?"
Ribbit; "Croak"
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Second Contestant Interview!
gp: January 23, 2010
We have the skinny on the second contestant in the Great Gnome-out here for you today!
Grummmpy Chato is his name, and he has apparently traveled here all the way from Norman, Oklahoma. "There I was... cheering on my Sooners when this big ole funnel cloud sucked me up.... well gosh darn it, if it didn't blow me all the way to this frozen hell hole. Now its been rumored if I win this gosh darn contest the Travel---y Gnome is gonna fly me back to the big plains. I mean gosh darn it, I cant miss a season from my team! "
As you can tell, unlike our first entrant, Grummmpy has a strong command of the English language, though both his wording and accent are questionable.
"Its really gosh darn cold out here... and whats with all this gosh darn snow? I walk around and I can't see a gosh darn thing other than white!" At slightly under a foot high, and given the local snow cover, Grummmpy is mostly identifable by the peak of his hat sticking up out of the snow. If it gets any deeper, we might lose him until the thaw starts.
Apparently the contest organizers haven't told Grummmpy that the Great Gnome-out is not affiliated with Travel---y in any fashion, so he is unlikely to get his wish. Rumors out of the Gnomish world have that the Gnome working at Travel---y is a Gnomish outcast having sold out for fame on the Internet.
Indeed, if Grummmpy doesn't win (or possibly even if he does) and he can't swim (not a noted ability in garden Gnomes) he'll be watching the sky from some distance under water rather than from the "big plains".
When asked about the strange device upon his hat, Grummmpy looked at the questioner oddly and stalked off calling: "Sooooners! Sooooners!" Our Gnomish language experts have not been able to recognize the meaning of this call, and its obviously not part of the English language.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
We have the skinny on the second contestant in the Great Gnome-out here for you today!
Grummmpy Chato is his name, and he has apparently traveled here all the way from Norman, Oklahoma. "There I was... cheering on my Sooners when this big ole funnel cloud sucked me up.... well gosh darn it, if it didn't blow me all the way to this frozen hell hole. Now its been rumored if I win this gosh darn contest the Travel---y Gnome is gonna fly me back to the big plains. I mean gosh darn it, I cant miss a season from my team! "
As you can tell, unlike our first entrant, Grummmpy has a strong command of the English language, though both his wording and accent are questionable."Its really gosh darn cold out here... and whats with all this gosh darn snow? I walk around and I can't see a gosh darn thing other than white!" At slightly under a foot high, and given the local snow cover, Grummmpy is mostly identifable by the peak of his hat sticking up out of the snow. If it gets any deeper, we might lose him until the thaw starts.
Apparently the contest organizers haven't told Grummmpy that the Great Gnome-out is not affiliated with Travel---y in any fashion, so he is unlikely to get his wish. Rumors out of the Gnomish world have that the Gnome working at Travel---y is a Gnomish outcast having sold out for fame on the Internet.
Indeed, if Grummmpy doesn't win (or possibly even if he does) and he can't swim (not a noted ability in garden Gnomes) he'll be watching the sky from some distance under water rather than from the "big plains".
When asked about the strange device upon his hat, Grummmpy looked at the questioner oddly and stalked off calling: "Sooooners! Sooooners!" Our Gnomish language experts have not been able to recognize the meaning of this call, and its obviously not part of the English language.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
Two on pond - Ice at issue!
(gp: January 23, 2010)
The first two contestants arrived at the official headquarters of the Great Gnome-out this morning wishing to establish their official locations for the event. To the great relief of the Gnomish interpreters, one of the Gnomes - name yet unknown, apparently speaks very good English, albeit with a rather odd accent. After some discussion with the gnomes, a junior staff member followed them out onto the ice to clear away the snow from the desired locations. To great consternation, it was found that the ice was soft under the snow cover.
After careful review of the rules, the Gnome-out Event officials declared that time should be allowed for the ice to re-harden now the snow cover has been removed.
At this writing, the first two declared contestants are waiting beside their locations for the ice to freeze up overnight.
In this picture, the first two contestants wait beside their cleared areas. You have to look closely to see the hat of the second gnome as he is a small entity, and can barely keep his head clear of the snow. This handicap does not seem to phase this contestant; he's still smiling!
(Photo: Gerald Putzny - gpi)
Friday, January 22, 2010
The First Interview
gp: January 22, 2010
The Great Gnome-out has it's first interview of a likely contestant.
After a spirited pursuit over some distance through the wooded area adjacent to the gaming area, the contestant was eventually corner (treed) for this interview. After understanding that there were more of us than him - we managed to convey that we only wanted to talk. Our friendliness was more firmly established with a pint of Jack Daniels, after which he came with us amiably so we were able to obtain the pictures to go with this article and conduct the interview.
This particular Gnome is rather large as the species goes - he looks to be over 18" high in his colorful peaked hat. We were unable to obtain his (her?) real name -- apparently this gnome has not learned to speak a human language, and what came out, possible because of the quart of Jack Daniels, wasn't recognizably a dialect of Gnomish either.
Interviewer: "Hello little fellow. What's your name?"
Gnome: "Ptthbshurtmmmm"
Interviewer: "Ptthsbshurtmmmm? That's your name?"
Gnome: "Snarffle"
Interviewer (to Gnomish expert from the Games committee): "Did you understand that? What did he say?"
Gnomish expert: "Not sure. Either this is a new dialect, or he has gas."
It is true that many Gnomes don't speak human languages. Indeed, it is not uncommon to find Gnomes in garden settings that are so silent that it could be questionable that they are actually alive.
"You have to be careful of the quiet ones" said Mrs. Grizwald, the local homeowner after the interview. "The quiet ones can be deadly good at sneaking up on ya if your not watching out".
"They might not make a sound, but they understand weedwacker real well though..." said Mr. Grizwald with a leer. This is one of the first comments we've been able to get from Mr. Grizwald. He has apparently been spending an inordinate amount of time watching this particular Gnome.
After the interchange with our Gnome and a quickly snapped set of pictures, our contestant vaulted off the judging platform and made a quick escape into the woods. Apparently this was not the last sighting of the Gnome (now known as "Ptthbbb" for lack of anything better to call him) for the day. Two young boys from the local neighborhood came to this reporter to say that Ptthbb apparently caught and devoured a crow on the side of the road.
More interviews of contestants will be forthcoming as the field (or pond) fills out.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
The Great Gnome-out has it's first interview of a likely contestant.
After a spirited pursuit over some distance through the wooded area adjacent to the gaming area, the contestant was eventually corner (treed) for this interview. After understanding that there were more of us than him - we managed to convey that we only wanted to talk. Our friendliness was more firmly established with a pint of Jack Daniels, after which he came with us amiably so we were able to obtain the pictures to go with this article and conduct the interview.
This particular Gnome is rather large as the species goes - he looks to be over 18" high in his colorful peaked hat. We were unable to obtain his (her?) real name -- apparently this gnome has not learned to speak a human language, and what came out, possible because of the quart of Jack Daniels, wasn't recognizably a dialect of Gnomish either.
Interviewer: "Hello little fellow. What's your name?"
Gnome: "Ptthbshurtmmmm"
Interviewer: "Ptthsbshurtmmmm? That's your name?"
Gnome: "Snarffle"
Interviewer (to Gnomish expert from the Games committee): "Did you understand that? What did he say?"
Gnomish expert: "Not sure. Either this is a new dialect, or he has gas."
It is true that many Gnomes don't speak human languages. Indeed, it is not uncommon to find Gnomes in garden settings that are so silent that it could be questionable that they are actually alive.
"You have to be careful of the quiet ones" said Mrs. Grizwald, the local homeowner after the interview. "The quiet ones can be deadly good at sneaking up on ya if your not watching out".
"They might not make a sound, but they understand weedwacker real well though..." said Mr. Grizwald with a leer. This is one of the first comments we've been able to get from Mr. Grizwald. He has apparently been spending an inordinate amount of time watching this particular Gnome.
After the interchange with our Gnome and a quickly snapped set of pictures, our contestant vaulted off the judging platform and made a quick escape into the woods. Apparently this was not the last sighting of the Gnome (now known as "Ptthbbb" for lack of anything better to call him) for the day. Two young boys from the local neighborhood came to this reporter to say that Ptthbb apparently caught and devoured a crow on the side of the road.
More interviews of contestants will be forthcoming as the field (or pond) fills out.
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
Saturday, January 16, 2010
First Gnome-Out Contestants Sighted!
(gp: january 16, 2010)
With no preamble or prior notice, the first two potential contestants to this year's Great Gnome-Out were sighted today. Alternately circling and testing locations on the ice, neither Gnome (for they are both recognizably gnomish) has apparently yet chosen a location for the game.
This Reporter will attempt to interview both of these contestants - if possible - before the start of the contest February 1st.
In other news, there is concern that the unseasonably warm weather of 42 degrees the last 2 days has affected the ice cover, potentially weakening the ice early and affecting the outcome of the contest. Members of the event organizers had "no comment" on this concern, so we turned to the event hosts for their input.
Mr. Grizwald was unavailable for comment; he appeared to be watching one of the possible entrants very closely while hiding behind a tree.
With no preamble or prior notice, the first two potential contestants to this year's Great Gnome-Out were sighted today. Alternately circling and testing locations on the ice, neither Gnome (for they are both recognizably gnomish) has apparently yet chosen a location for the game.
This Reporter will attempt to interview both of these contestants - if possible - before the start of the contest February 1st.
In other news, there is concern that the unseasonably warm weather of 42 degrees the last 2 days has affected the ice cover, potentially weakening the ice early and affecting the outcome of the contest. Members of the event organizers had "no comment" on this concern, so we turned to the event hosts for their input.
When questioned, Mrs. Grizwald, one of the land owners hosting this year's event replied while cleaning her gun: "Ppppssssbbbt. It's still getting down to the 20's at night, and it's only the middle of January. We have months before thaw yet. Don't get yer undies in a bunch".
Mr. Grizwald was unavailable for comment; he appeared to be watching one of the possible entrants very closely while hiding behind a tree.
reported by Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Great Gnome-Out Official Rules Published
The Offical Rules and Regulations for the Great Gnome out have be published. For our readers, the rules are published below:
(gp: January 10, 2010)
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(gp: January 10, 2010)
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The 2010 Great Gnome-Out Official Rules and Regulations
Contest explanation:
The Great Gnome-Out asks our friends, the Gnomes, to assist us in determining the arrival of True Spring by helping to determine that the ice has finally left our fair waterways.
To make this interesting, this determination has become a ritual gathering of Gnomes, and further more, a Gnoming contest supported by the humans.
In mid winter, the Gnomes will gather on a pre-determined ice flow/frozen body of water. The Gnomes will wait out the rest of the winter until the spring thaw begins. True spring will be determined, and the winner of the Great Gnome out will be crowned (if found) when the last Gnome standing goes down with the melting ice.
Official Rules:
- Any Gnome, Garden Animal, or similar entity may participate. Religious objects or icons are banned to reduce possible divine influence on the outcome.
- Participants are encouraged to be 6” in height or length as a minimum, and cannot be naturally floating (ex: inflatable, made of Styrofoam, wood, or wearing water wings).
- Positions on the playing field (pond) will be established on a first-come first-served basis
- Spacing between participants must be maintained as a minimum of 24”, and must be directly on the ice. Intermediate objects (ex: snow piles, boards, sleds, pontoon boats, etc.) cannot be used.
- Once the participant has established a position, they cannot move location, and must stay for the duration of the contest.
- Participation is entirely at the participant’s own risk. Ability to swim is optional, but rescue cannot be guaranteed, and will not be attempted until summer.
- Human intervention beyond assisting in the initial location of the participant will result in an immediate ban from the contest.
- Last participant floating on the ice will be declared the winner.
- Registration will continue through the last day for January 31, 2010. The first day of the contest will be Monday, February 1, 2010
- The host family, event sponsors, and security personnel cannot be held responsible for anything.
- Additional rules will be made up by the event sponsors as deemed necessary and as they feel like it,
- Intervention of natural flora and fauna cannot be controlled (dogs, cats, beavers, otters, trees, etc.)
- Participants give up all media rights to their image and reporting on activities for the duration of the contest.
- Final prize to be determined by the event sponsor.
As long as the criteria listed in rules 1 and 2 above are met, the sponsors of this event will not discriminate against participation based on color, size, years of age, body shape (or lack thereof), parentage (or lack thereof), store bought at, UPC number, clothing, paint style, team affiliation, gender (or lack thereof), sexual orientation (or lack thereof).
Let the games begin!
The Great Gnome-out Kick-off is days away!
(gp: January 10, 2010)
The Great Gnome-out is only days away from starting!
We are hugely excited that we will be able to bring to you direct reporting from the event, with exclusive news and pictures of the activities as the Gnome-out proceeds throughout the winter into the spring to its final conclusion.
As the Gnome contestants are gathered and complete their preparations, (you all know how hard it is to get a group of gnomes organized - they tend to be singular creatures unless planning a major action) we will declare the start of the event and bring you live updates.
This year's event will take place at the sheltered back-yard pond of the Grizwald family in beautiful rural NH. The Grizwald's have graciously allowed the usage of their pond for this event, and have installed extensive security to make sure that this year's event will be un-interupted as has happened in previous years.
(member of the crack security team on-site)
This year's event is shaping up to be huge. There'll be much more to come!
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
The Great Gnome-out is only days away from starting!
We are hugely excited that we will be able to bring to you direct reporting from the event, with exclusive news and pictures of the activities as the Gnome-out proceeds throughout the winter into the spring to its final conclusion.
As the Gnome contestants are gathered and complete their preparations, (you all know how hard it is to get a group of gnomes organized - they tend to be singular creatures unless planning a major action) we will declare the start of the event and bring you live updates.
This year's event will take place at the sheltered back-yard pond of the Grizwald family in beautiful rural NH. The Grizwald's have graciously allowed the usage of their pond for this event, and have installed extensive security to make sure that this year's event will be un-interupted as has happened in previous years.
(member of the crack security team on-site)
This year's event is shaping up to be huge. There'll be much more to come!
Gerald Putzny for Gnome Press International
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