Rescue Buzz Fly-boy - The Gnational Equire Demands Action!
By Victoria Dickenson - Gnational Enquire Investigative reporter
Many of our devoted readers (aren't you all!) remember with trembling heart my amazing inteview with that true personification of Gnomehood, Buzz Fly-boy.
The news is that Buzz has gone missing! As in GONE!
What's worse is that those idiots of Officials at the Great Gnome-out (or is that Official Idiots?) don't seem to care! It's obvious to this Reporter that some sort of nefarious business has been afoot on the ice at the Grizwald Pond.
Examine the facts as this Reporter expertly lays them out for your examination:
1. Buzz and all the other Gnomes were there after the big storm. For those of you ninnies that say he was blown away in the storm -- HELLO! He's in all the pictures afterwards! The pictures never lie so get a life!
2. Several of other other Gnomes are lying down on the job, and NONE of the Gnomes are talking. This Reporter risked life and limb to go out on the ice to talk with these buggers, and none, not even the ones that speak a civilized language would talk. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
3. Unlike Buzz's landing, THERE IS NO MELTED ICE PATH from his jet taking off. This reporter knows perfectly well that Buzz could be perfectly stealthy if he wanted to be and not leave a trail, but we know our Buzz: He would have taken off hot and fast form this forgotten spot.
4. There is no melt-through spot, not like poor Gannepy, and Ducky, and Zeilbell, and that snow-duck thing that are stuck in the ice, probably never to emerge. Buzz was BIG. He was a BIG Gnome that wouldn't just casually melt off into the ice.
The conclusion is obvious: Somebody, some thing has done something nefarious with Buzz. This Reporter knows just how unbelievable that sounds given Buzz's prowness.
There must be a search party sent out! Get Buzz Fly-boy's picture on to the milk cartons! Talk to the local Pixies, Mixies and wildlife!
What are you sitting still for?
By Victoria Dickenson - Gnational Enquire Investigative reporterMany of our devoted readers (aren't you all!) remember with trembling heart my amazing inteview with that true personification of Gnomehood, Buzz Fly-boy.
The news is that Buzz has gone missing! As in GONE!
What's worse is that those idiots of Officials at the Great Gnome-out (or is that Official Idiots?) don't seem to care! It's obvious to this Reporter that some sort of nefarious business has been afoot on the ice at the Grizwald Pond.
Examine the facts as this Reporter expertly lays them out for your examination:
1. Buzz and all the other Gnomes were there after the big storm. For those of you ninnies that say he was blown away in the storm -- HELLO! He's in all the pictures afterwards! The pictures never lie so get a life!
2. Several of other other Gnomes are lying down on the job, and NONE of the Gnomes are talking. This Reporter risked life and limb to go out on the ice to talk with these buggers, and none, not even the ones that speak a civilized language would talk. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
3. Unlike Buzz's landing, THERE IS NO MELTED ICE PATH from his jet taking off. This reporter knows perfectly well that Buzz could be perfectly stealthy if he wanted to be and not leave a trail, but we know our Buzz: He would have taken off hot and fast form this forgotten spot.
4. There is no melt-through spot, not like poor Gannepy, and Ducky, and Zeilbell, and that snow-duck thing that are stuck in the ice, probably never to emerge. Buzz was BIG. He was a BIG Gnome that wouldn't just casually melt off into the ice.
The conclusion is obvious: Somebody, some thing has done something nefarious with Buzz. This Reporter knows just how unbelievable that sounds given Buzz's prowness.
There must be a search party sent out! Get Buzz Fly-boy's picture on to the milk cartons! Talk to the local Pixies, Mixies and wildlife!
What are you sitting still for?
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